All of a sudden I feel an urge to reconnect with those that I used to know and hang out with... I switch my cell phone service provide and I didn't transfer all of my contact into my new phone before disconnecting the old one, so I'm starting out again. Anyone care to get in touch with me or even read this please let me know how you are doing, I think I'll be a better friend this time around.

Until then, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!!

Ah ha, at last.  Another update from the online hermit, first one even since I got back from the big C.  Things are looking good at work: sales are up and I'm gona have lunch with the district managers for recognization, having an interview with Enterprise as manager trainee, talk to some dude from WF higher up for potential admission into the Leadership development program (so we don't need any leadership background to qualify afterall... those liers), and Homedepot is moving me to a much more demanding position which should be good for a promotion if I perform well enough... life is definitely on the up now.  Good to change gear after all the lows from earlier on this year. 

I don't know, it seems like too many choices now, which require me to exercise my brain and think hard.  I'm pretty sure what I want though so we'll see if the alternative outweight the chosen path, otherwise I'll stay put... changing job too often can = bad rap on my profile.  So for now I'll just go to work and impress the hell outa everyone, then good things will start to come around.  Ha, even the previously grumpy customers are treating me nice now... watchout, world!

Its funny how I always thought up so much to write down here when I'm off doing something, and when I'm actually sitting in front of my computer I don't know what to say. 

It's also very funny that when I was a lil boy, I thought I had everything figured out.  I wouldn't listen to anyone and everyone.  I would nod my head when I'm being lectured and soon as my head is turn, I'm off doing something mischievous.  Now I understand that the more I know, there are a whole lot more stuff out there that I don't know.

I used to say to myself, when I grow up I will do a lota things.  Now I got tons of things going on, I dream of just chillin and hangin with my friends, traveling to places I've always wanted to go so badly.

I always try to find ways to improve myself, I though this is a destination, some day I will get there, some day, just you wait.  Now I sense it is just a direction on an endless path, a journal, where I am just being thrown into the ocean, without any sense of direction, thinking I am heading forward but then get carry back by the next wave, floating.

Where is the ultimate liberation?  I can't just be control by external circumstances.  Yes, life happens and I will need to take care of it, but at the end I just have to ask myself: where is this taking me?  What is it doing and where is it taking me?  What is the purpose of this?

Behind the predictable/inevitable of life, there is also Hope.  A quiet little voice that says "Forward" and "Steady", not just in the path towards achieving success, but also in building strength in character and in mental stage.  I am a firm believer that life is an up stream battle: if you stop putting out your effort, you are gonna get wash away.  If you don't move forward, you will be going back.

Someday I would just like to see what is on the other side of the stream.